Cause I got shit to say!
What's Up With The New Burger King Commercials? (3/12/2007)
So lemme just get it off my chest... (that's what sh... nevermind.) "The King" is fucking weird. You know the dude with the cape and huge ass plastic head. If I ever woke up and he was laying in my bed with a Double Croissanwich I'd prolly take the bat laying next to my bed and beat his head in until he hasn't moved for a couple of minutes. So back to the latest commercials... the ones with the ballerinas aka the "Dollerinas".... lame... There's three of them out but I'm talking about the one with the guy buying stuff from the vending machine in the office (If you haven't seen it please watch this. It's a mix of all three but it has the one that I'm talking about in it.) So the guy gets his stuff kicked away and The King offers him a tray of breakfast menu items... Then comes the interesting part. One of the ballerinas reaches into his pocket and jerks the dude of and afterwards takes out $1 and leaves. So hopefully (or maybe not?) you're thinking of what I thought when I saw this. First of all it only lasts for about 5 seconds (which isn't too encouraging for the guy who works at the office). Secondly she only takes one dollar... so maybe he got off lucky? Well anyway you can make your own decisions about this commercial but personally, I think it was completely effective because all it made me think of was getting some pocket pool action from the hot chick behind the counter at BK to go along with my breakfast...
Fun Fact: In the movie Beer Fest, Barry Badrinath asks Landfill if he wants a "ZJ" no one knows what it is. Although there has been no official acknowledgement as to the deffinition of a "ZJ" the current most popular beliefs are that it refers to getting a hand job while high, getting a BJ in your sleep (Zzzzzz J), or getting blown while riding on a zamboni.
I Like It Because Nobody Else Does... (3/12/2007)
In an age where anybody can think they are a rocker for wearing a Led Zeppelin T-Shirt or think “Look at me! I’m so alternative because I shop at Hot Topic in the Mall!” we’re all looking for some one to “be”. Well stop being assholes about and just do what you enjoy. There’s no need for crazy ass individualism because chances are you’re still just gonna be following some crowd. Take emo for example…. “Nobody understands me.” Yeah… SHUT THE FUCK UP! Guess what, the other million kids who dress up in black every day and cry about nothing in dark closets while cutting themselves all understand what you are thinking… so just stop… it’s not worth it. The “I like it because no one else does attitude doesn’t last as a cool thing anymore.” I remember back in 6th grade if I saw a goth kid I’d think to myself “Oh shit I better not fuck with that kid… Shit he looks so intense!” but now I realize that those are just the kids who don’t have any friends. So maybe this sounds like me telling people to stop joining popular groups of people with the same ideas but I’m saying just the opposite (unless you’re gonna join the Democratic Party…) Just don’t give a fuck about what group you happen to fall into and most importantly make fun of anyone wearing all black. Edit: if you’re at a funeral that could be a bad idea and you’ll probably get your ass kicked…
Fun Fact: Remember the thing I said about not joining the Democratic Party… Well most people would join solely because of the fact that George Bush is a Republican but America’s solution in a guy with any brains is in my opinion, Republican Senator Chuck Hagel from Nebraska. Look ‘em up.
Books Suck and I Know Why (3/6/2007)
Damn it's been a while.... Well since I haven't done anything for a while I figured a tripple entry might be in store for tonight. As the title suggests, I have finally figured out what I think is so fuckin stupid about books. Authors like to try and send us messages about social problems, moral questions and solutions to our conflicts with other people by writing in symbolism, using interesting character development, settings and themes and other "literary devices." There are many people who consider those things to be achieved only by higher level thinkers and great philosophers. If so, then tell me why the fuck do you have to hide all of this really important information from me by writing it in some code. It's like they say to themselves, "Well if you're going to get to learn about my secret to the meaning of life you're going to have to read through 500 pages worth of a story about some bitchy ass little girl, her stupid fuck brother and her dad who won't fuckin do anything about his problems from a small town in the south after the Civil War. Since no one should be able to relate the the Re-Construction era this will be especially difficult. I'm going to make it so boring that even the setting will be considered a character in the book and one of my main points is made by connections to egyptian history through the use of my chapter titles." If these people are really so smart why don't they just write their idea on it on a piece of paper in one sentance and go hand out the flyers in New York City. I gaurentee more people will "get the point" if some one did that instead of wasting a year writing an entire book. Besides, if you just want to read for a good story then go rent (or better yet bittorrent) a movie....
Fun Fact: Over 2500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people.
You Know What I Hate? (#1) (3/6/2007)
When you walk into a classroom and there is a TV on or a Projector and someone asks "Oh are we watching a movie today?" and the teacher always has to respond with a half-assed smile and, quickly followed up by a semi-drawn out "No." It sounds more like a "Nah" with "...ooooo..." trailing off in the end. I'm only brining this up cause it happened to me periods 1,3,4 and 8 a week or so ago and it pissed me off. Fun Fact: On Anna Nicole Smith's death certificate it said she had an "8th Grade or Less" education and it was once discovered that she could not read. Then again she had huge knockers.... reading is over-rated anyways....
Gay Scouts (3/6/2007)
Did you know that the Boy Scouts do not accept gay kids? Well I learned this from none other than Dave Lang, (and he seemed pretty interested for some reason...) and it really kind of surprised me. Think back to how many times you've heard somebody say "Dude, Boy Scouts are gay." I figured these people always meant that Boy Scouts sucks and they mean that the actual people who are scouts suck.... balls. So I looked around on various websites for a while and couldn't find whether or not this rule is still in place because recently some guy was told he couldn't be a leader of a Boy Scout Troop because he was gay. He took it to either the Court of Appeals or the Supreme Court (not sure how far the case got) and some shit happened.... look i didn't actually care enough to read it I just know it happened.... So long story short who wants to sleep in the woods in a tent with gay kids? Not me.
Fun Fact: Bitches ain't shit.
Thursday's Incident in the Library... (12/18/2006)
I guess some might say I was "Fucked up the A" on this one but it was so worth it... were not talking literally here... So it all starts at 2:15 Thursday afternoon, Dec. 14th. I get to the library and sit down with some fellow track team members to do work before our meet (or in my case a regular workout because some of us were focusing more on a meet the next day and not racing on thursday.) So anyway I managed to finish my math homework for the first time in about 2 months while I was there and afterwards had nothing to do and got really bored really fast. So what was I to do? Well thanks to a certain individual who I will not mention (first name might have been Matt and last name could possibly have been Colleary but most likely not...) I learned of a book our library owned titled: Raising Black Children. Why do we have it and how often has it been taken out of the library? I'm sorry that I do not have answers to these questions but I do know that this particular book might be the best for setting up pranks. The target? Well it wasn't even my original idea but it seemed that he would be the most fitting person to actually have any black children.... that's right... I'm talking about none other than Mike Coughlin (you were expecting Jordan Brown/Alex Moore/Mr. Wine weren't you?) So we put it in his back pack and about 10 minutes later he stands up, almost walks out the door then stops. He stands in front of the sensors for at least 3 minutes doing nothing other than maybe waiting for a friend. Now I'm dieing over at my table trying not to laugh because I know that any second he's gonna walk through the sensors and they're gonna beep but wait! He walks through and nothing happens! FUCK!!!!!! Now that book is gone forever, we can never pull off the prank, and more importantly why the hell did that not work!? What does he have lead sheets in there or something!? FUCK!!!!! So what did I do... I ran out of there and tried to track him down. I leave the library and look left and right but he's no where to be seen. How'd he get away like that!? So I'm running around the school for at least 5 minutes (I even made it all the way to the gym and back down to the science hallway...) while he's just in the bathroom right near the library which I am apparently to stupid to look into... I finally saw his friend outside and learned that Mike was in a stall. I went in and here's how it went down:
Me: "Hey Mike is there a book called Raising Black Children in your back pack?"
Mike: "What the fuck!? Nooo..."
Me: "Well could you just check for me?"
(Pause, then book comes sliding out on floor from stall)
Mike: "What the hell?"
Me: "Yeah.... thanks bye!"
So I walk out and I'm heading towards the library when I realize how absurd it would look if I walked into the library with this book... so then I took off my hat and tried to conceal the book as much as I could and I walk into the library. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! OOOOOOOO SSSSHHHHIT! Why did it go off for me!? Dammit! So I went over to the librarians desk and showed her what I had and she basically freaked out without saying anything but that was funny enough. So then I told her "what really happened..."
Me: "Well you see, I was with my friend Mike the whole time and he found this while he was in the bathroom and asked me to return it for him... he figured somebody put it in his back pack as some kind of bad prank and um..."
Librarian: "Who did you say you were with?"
Me: "Mike. Mike Coughlin."
Librarian: "Oh, that Mike Coughlin, he's such a trouble maker... I bet he did this just to draw attention..."
Me: (In my head) "SCORE!" (Out loud) "Well I don't know but um sorry about all of this..."
And so I walked out and had some friends go back for my back pack.... My own prank turned against me and I got caught with a book called Raising Black Children but it's all good now because the book is back in the library and ready to be used once again on some poor innocent kid that everyone thinks is a douchebag or would just be funny to see get caught with "the book". And yes I do realize how many better ways I could have handled that after the fact....
Fun Fact: Former boxing World Heavyweight Champion George Foreman has 5 sons. Their names are George Jnr, George III, George IV, George V and George VI.
High School Date Matching Service... (12/10/2006)
So it turns out that the brilliant student council (end sarcasm here) has decided to run a date matching service for some upcoming school dances. (I'm serious the sarcasm really did end back there.) Not only have we voted on and approved it but some members of Computer Club showed up at the last meeting and they volunteered to write a database program for us to help "match people up". In return they asked if they could charge people a small fee in order to get their results back. This would be their fundraiser for the year. While this was being explained at the meeting I looked over at Brian Robertson with a look that said "Is this some kind of joke that everyone else thinks is normal/funny?" but I only got the response "Why is our school so cheap!?" So anyway let's just look this over one last time... the biggest organized group of NERDS in our whole school is running our date matching service as a "fundraiser". Now last year when I took computer programming (which might have actually been the coolest thing I've ever learned in school), I took advantage of staying after school as a "member" of computer club so that I could work on my projects at school without having to take anything home. The only thing those kids did was play on addictinggames.com while others tried to figure out ways to get teacher passwords by booting up in Linux which I'm guessing never worked out, otherwise something really funny/twisted/who knows what would have already happened. They also ordered pizza every time and the advisor teachers always paid for it... so let's see, what does computer club need to pay for... pizza. They need money for pizza. I honestly think the only reason they are hooking us brothas up with them biatches is so that they can buy pizza one Friday every month. Man this school blows.... and I'm not paying for nerds to buy pizza.
Fun Fact: "In prison, you are somebody's BITCH!" ~ Prison Mike.... aka Michael Scott
Carrot Cake (12/10/2006)
First of all, as Officer Farva would say about Powdered Sugar, "It's delicious." ...but thanks to a spontaneous brainstorm of totally obscure things and the help of Matt Colleary it has been determined that carrots are the only vegetable that can go in cake. Imagine it, potatoe cake, pepper cake, onion cake, hamburger cake. All of them are healthy vegetables, and yet none of them could possibly produce a quality cake in the same way that carrots have supplied us since the mediaevil period. (No I did not make that up. Look at the history of carrot cake in the fun fact section.) So anyway I dare you to try and make a cake from another vegetable that can possibly match up to a carrot cake and then give it to me so I can eat it. I dare you.
Fun Fact: For more on carrot cake go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrot_cake.
The Stuff That Never Actually Happens. (11/27/2006)
Alright I'll be the first to admit it, my previous few topics have been kind of weak but I had been running low on good material.... it seems that once school started all of my creativity and sense of good humor was just sucked away.... I guess that isn't too surprising but anyway the following is a list of things that seem to be commonplace in the world yet just never happen. Ever. I do have to give my friend Matt Manuli some credit for giving me an idea that sparked up this topic because I really did need the help (Although I think I'm on a bit of a roll now so maybe in a week or so I'll have another entry?) Anyways....
First of all not a single person between the ages of 12 and 34 reads books. Although many of them may own one (or even more than one which is extremely rare!), it is only a mask, because that book(s) is never read. Call me an idealist but in the future I predict that after kids learn to read in school they will never actually read a real book. Instead The American School System will get so tired of failing that it will eventually just require English students to read the cliff notes and top ten quotes from "Great American and European Classics" that date back to the 18th century. I know this vision is far away in the future but we, the citizens of the United States of America have the responsibilty to make this dream a reality.
Secondly I have recently been entlightened to the fact that no one ever slips on a bannana peal. Personally I have stepped on a bannana peal before and suffered nothing more than a false sense of uneasyness. You may be wondering and yes, I probably did make that word up but none the less, don't give me that crap on TV, at least show someone slipping on oil or ice or anything but a mother fuckin bannana peal. Kay Thanks. <--- Just wanted to point out how gay that sounds...
One more thing... have you ever complained about not getting enough sleep? Yes? Well then, YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR!!! I'm sorry I know, that was a cheap shot, I set you up, but, it's true. Next time anyone complains to you about not getting any sleep, know this, they are bragging. It happens aaaalllllllll the time.
"Ah man I didn't get any sleep last night."
"Oh, that sucks man I feel bad for you."
"Yeah well, whatever" (In his mind this guy feels like such a bad ass.)
Ok. The last thing that I have decided is that no one ever "Comes up with that". No one has ever made up a funny joke. No one has ever started a "trend". Plain and simple: You do not know a single person who has ever made up anything funny or cool. See, I have this theory that there is some guy out in the middle east nearbye the begginning of civilization that invents everything funny, everything comical, everything trendy, and everything cool. Moral to the story, just don't bother trying, it's not worth it because you'll never really be able to say "I Came up with that", ever. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he wrote this article about 15 bagillion years ago. Oh, one last thing, make sure you check out the "fun fact", it's worth it.
Fun Fact: Alright so it's not a fun fact but just watch This I'm sure you'll like it.
If I Did It..... (11/16/2006)
I usually try to write about stuff that happens in my own life but I think I'm into the phase where I can at least make fun of washed up celebrities/assholes... So anyway if you haven't heard yet, O.J. Simpson has written a new book called "If I Did It"..... It's just a hypothetical look on the events that led to the deaths of his wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman and it explains in great detail how he could have killed them and what he could have done to kill them, even though he didn't.... right.... It's bad enough the motherfucker killed em but he decided to write a book about it too just to rub it all in and make money at the same time. Really though if you're gonna be that gay at least make a movie or something (who the fuck reads books!?) The only part of this thing that really isn't surprising is that FOX has decided to make a TV special on the whole ordeal.... I'm serious that wasn't a joke.... Most of all I feel pretty bad for the guy's kids no matter how old they are now. He killed their mom and then decides to make mad bucks off of it. I'd kinda like to know who the people were that were in the jury for his trial just so I can go around chopping their dicks off and shoving them down their throats for letting this ass clown off so easy... anyway I know it's been a while since I last added an entry so I'll try and come up with something else soon...
Fun Fact: Less than 1% of all men can suck their own... 100% have tried it....
Happy Freakin Halloween (10/31/2006)
So... didn't feel like actually writing a real entry today so I figured I'd do something along the lines of "The Halloween Spectrum: From Cool to Real F'n Gay" with a rating of four being the best and -4 being the worst.... so without further delay.....
4.) Finding a candy bowl with a "Please take one" sign at 5:30 PM. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... owned, gg, are they serious(?!), ect. Always a big score. Really though, if I can clean house at 5:30 and have enough candy to call it a day by then, then that pretty much rules. I once went out around 3:30 in 4th, 5th or 6th grade solely because of this opportunity.... unfortunately it didn't work out but I did however succeed in making people get ready for trick or treaters way earlier than they would have ever thought they needed to be and I still stayed out for about 5 and a half hours which filled up my bag at least 3 times (when I would then dump it at home.)
3.) Switching Costumes and doubling up on "the good houses". Only pulled this off once and it didn't last long but it was so worth it for two reasons. First, I can say I've done it.... second I got better candy.... 'nuff said.
2.) It's the only day when I can dress up like Flava Flav for school and the black kids won't beat me up or shoot me.... Pretty much awesome.... I went out to target and got the most pimped out chromed up dope ass stupid shit props word mother fucker clock I could find and put it on a chain around my neck. Got kinda heavy after a while but it was so worth it.
1.) Shutting the door on kids without costumes. If you expect me to give you my fuckin candy for free you better mildly entertain me or else I'll either kick your ass or just shut the door in your face. Quite frankly I see no difference if a 6 year old boy does this or if someone older than me does this.
0.) Uhhhh......... don't know what's so.... neutral(?) about Halloween.....
-1.) Ahhhh, here we go.... if any fuckin spas 10 year olds ring my doorbell every .3 seconds until I open the door again heads will roll! I'm really gonna put the blingin clock away and whip out the chainsaw and hockey mask. Seriously I dare him to come back!
-2.) Alright this one is three sentances:
"You can each take one."
"Can I have two?"
"No, sorry just one... (and under my breath) you little fuckin shit bag power ranger! Just try to take more than one, see what happens bitch!"
-3.) When I get on the bus in the morning and my bus driver thinks I'm father time..... I know it's not actually annoying, in fact it's pretty funny but the fact that she's that stupid angers me.... I bet she did it just to piss me off cause I'm late every day and slow her down....
-4.) Finding a candy bowl with a "Please take one" sign at 8:00 PM. THOSE FUCKERS TOOK ALL OF IT!!!! I'm gonna find em. I'm gonna find em and kill all of em. The worst part of this scenario is if you try and ring the doorbell and no one answers even when you can see the people at home watching tv through the window. I don't really have the balls or the time to clean it up if I was somehow caught so I wouldn't egg them but I'll step it up a notch! I'll disrespect them on my blog..... (anti-climactic, I know....) Anyway hope this didn't happen to you, Happy Halloween.
Little known fact: Halloween is German for "A Whale's Vagina"
Why Is Not Washing Your Hands The Cool Thing To Do? (10/20/2006)
I never understood this one. Personally I always wash my hands after I do anything in the bathroom but I thought it was neccesary to bring this up after hearing a story of one person in particular who took a shit and didn't wash their hands. Took a shit and didn't wash their hands.... took a shit and didn't wash their hands.... AW WHAT THE FUCK! That's so beat. What if some of it got on your hands and you went to go eat or something. "Wow look at that guy! He's so badass he didn't wash his hands in the bathroom and now he's eating his own....." (You get the picture.) The way I see it, this really doesn't just apply to takin a dump. Say for instance you're in the locker room after gym and some guy puts a hand up for a high-five. You have no idea if he was just handling his sweaty sack with that hand, but you can't actually turn some one down on an low percentage suspision. See, this wouldn't be a problem if everyone just washed their hands in the bathroom. It actually has its benefits ya know. You delay getting back to class by about 15 seconds, your hands smell good and uhhhh....... so anyway I guess this would be a good time to drop in some other men's bathroom ediquete since it's apparent that it needs to be said.... (in other words hey crew kids how bout you get your pen and notepad out to take this down....) First, let's talk about urinals.... NEVER EVER take the one next to another guy if there is are two open ones on one side of the other guy. It's akward and you look gay. period. Second, always rember to shake. Fellas you know what I mean. Admit it, it's happened to everyone of us. You're in a rush, zip up too soon, walk away and oh! SHIT, it leaked! It's tragic but can easily be avoided with this acronym: "CUS" It stands for Check toilet paper, Use toilet/urinal, Shake it so that other guys don't notice (don't want anyone to think you're uhhhhhh... jackin it in a public bathroom...) Anyway I gotta go do some work so happy pissing.... EDIT (10/26): I'd just like to point out that I wrote this about 5 days before "The Issue" published something on the exact same topic....
There's Nothing Worse Than A Bad Dirty Joke (10/16/2006)
Well, it's true. This topic came up at our lunch table last year and I figured I needed to share this information with everyone since I've heard my fair share of bad dirty jokes so far this year.... and I'm sure you have too.... let's take a look back....
"...and then I fucked her!"
"...and then it went right into her mouth!"
"...and it turns out it was really a guy with a dick bigger than mine!" (....ewww..... and also not possible of course... heheheheh....)
Unfortunately all of these either end in "Aw what the fuck.... that's just weird," or you get the akward silence accompanied by the blank stare. If you're lucky enough to not be in a situation like this yet this year, I'm sure you have still heard a great deal of bad that's what she said jokes.... which has led me to finally make a list of good opportunities to use these in case you need help.
For example if anyone says:
- "...That's huge."
- "...I'm so tired from last night."
- "...I just faked it."
- "...Just whip it out."
- "...I could do that for hours."
- "...Curtis you're about 6 inches too short." (Awesome setup at lunch not too long ago...)
- "...I think you should have a doctor check that out." (only to be used in the correct subtle situation.)
- "...Aw you got that in my mouth."
- "...It could fit at least 7."
- "...That was so hard." (it's a common situation, use sparingly)
Well I'm running really low on ideas so I'll keep this list going and I'll get some better ones for later but until then.... GHS XC RULES!
Radio Stations Suck Ass... (10/4/2006)
Yesterday was possibly the most anti-climactic day in my life. It all started last weekend around the first of October. There was no school because of a Jewish holiday (SCORE!) and so my mom decided to schedule appointments at the dentist, othropedist, othrodontist, gynecologist (just kidding) and some other shit..... of course..... My day had been going pretty bad and I was just tired of doing stuff on my day off. So around 12:45 as I'm heading over to some doctor my mom has 96.5 on the radio while I'm trying to listen to my Mp3 player. The radio was loud and I couldn't even listen to my own music without being annoyed so I turned the Mp3 player off just in time to hear ....call (insert some phone #) to win tickets to an advance showing of the new Robbin Williams movie "Man of the Year". I'll give them to caller number 9.... Now remember, I was bored, free stuff was being given away, and I have a cell believe it or not. Of course I called, and guess what... I WON MOTHER FUCKER! YEAH! WHAT! IN YOUR FACE Mr. WHINE! (totally different story...) Ok so now I'm having the best day ever. And what do you do when something happens to you that makes you feel like a million bucks? I'll tell you.... you brag about it to all of your friends and shove it in their faces for the next week or so. Alright, now let's skip ahead to Wednesday (two days later).... As I'm getting into my mom's car after being picked up from XC practice she tells me that she drove all the way to Farmington to pick up the tickets I won and she hands me a peice of thick paper (maybe thin cardboard?) I look at it like she just handed me a big log of shit and flip it over to read the back. ADMITS TWO. Already pretty gay. Then she tells me that the movie starts at 7 PM which is fine with me but then she says that they make more of these ADMIT TWO pieces of shit than there are seats in the theater so they suggested you get their by 6:30 at the latest. Well that kind of sucks.... wait a minute, FUCK! I have a meet the day of the movie and I'll probably get home around 6:30. The movie is in Plainville which is a good 30 minutes away. That means at best I could get their as it starts and end up not getting in anyway. So you wanna know what you do when the stuff you brag about all of a sudden falls short and doesn't matter anymore.... you tell nobody and lie 'till your mouth hurts.... well guess I blew that one too. So anyone who wants the ADMIT TWO (maybe if you're there early enough) ticket just ask me. You can have it for $5 which is about 25% of what it would normally cost you. The thing about this whole situation that is the gayest part is that I can't win one of their contests now for something like a year. Anyway my next entry here will be less of a rant and I'd do it right now but I don't really have time...... I guess I'll just have to think of my grandfather's old saying... when life sucks remember, Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothin to Fuck Wit!
Why Bother Wiping Your Ass Anyway? (9/10/2006)
I remeber my brother in law Chris talking about something along these lines and I thought it was pretty much ownage so it deserves a spot on here. So let's run through the scenerio. You're walking out of the cows barn at the Hebron Fair taling to your friend when all of a sudden you trip on a house. OH NO! And whats that on your arm!? Fuck! You landed in cow shit. So what do you do? Would you take a dry piece of tissue paper and whipe it off and say "All Clean" :) ..... NO! You would run to the bathroom, keep your shirt from touching it, make sure there isn't any on your other clothes, and you would wash it off with soap and water at least 20 times. You'd also get really pissed off at cows in general, hicks who let them crap wherever they want and yourself for triping on a a hose. So why then do we just whipe off our asses pull up our pants and figure what the hell if I can't see down there it doesn't matter? Well, i don't know but with a little something to think about today this is D-Block and the shitty ass words of wisdom program we sleep through every morning.
What's Up With Anime Porn? (9/10/2006)
This one was brought to my attention by Brett Francis... of course... First of all I just don't get it. What are you supposed to do? "O baby look what you are drawing!" (?) It's just weird. If I painted big tities on the side of a building most people would laugh at it. What kind of person would whip out their dick and start beating off? Besides it's always in fucking Japenese (no pun intended... in fact there isn't really much of one anyway...)
So I took a tour of either the south end of Hartford or the ghetto of West Hartford today.... (8/13/2006)
First of all lemme just say that not knowing whether you're in the south end of Hartford or the ghetto of West Hartford is bad enough. My tour included getting cut off by some dumb shit on a mini motor bike thing, seeing a man walking down the sidewalk wearing gloves (oh shit.....), the African City Supermarket, Burgers and Pizza Land (a restaurant across from Pancho's Discount liquors of course), and 4 rent-a-centers on the same road over the stretch of about a mile. There were many other interesting things that we had the opportunity to see but I can't remeber all of them right now.... by the way if I anyone wearing gloves comes looking for me just say you don't know me and if you did then you would bet that I never witnessed any murders or homocides.... Seriously though it was a lot of fun in a strange way and if you only live life for the crazy experiances... well... keep it up!
*Fun Fact - A gift certificate to any of the Max's restaurant chains can be bought at any of the Max's restaurant chains. In other words they can be used universally at any of their restaurants.
Why do they only take ass shots of fat people? (8/9/2006)
I swear everytime they do an obesity study on the news all I see is the asses of fat people. What they can't man up and say, "Hello, I want to take video of you because you are a fat mass of fried dough and cheese burgers." Which brings me to another point. In all of these video clips they happen to find huge groups of people over 300 pounds. They never get a shot of 1 fat guy, but they manage to find a place where these people tend to congregate. Hell, if I could find a place like that I wouldn't take video clips, I'd open a hot dog stand. But seriously if you can find this many people who eat like apes then do they think a segment on the news is going to change the way people do anything.... fuck no! No one cares if we're all fat.... except the French.....
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